I grew up in a small Alabama town where beauty pageants were the norm, and you wore your “Sunday best” on days other than Sundays. I learned at a young age how to cross my ankles (right over left), wear pearls, use eye cream and make banana pudding. But what I didn’t learn —until I was older— was how to keep my confidence when everything around me crumbles...and even then I still need to call my mama and her her words of encouragement and wisdom.
Here are 4 things My Mama always told me that aren’t really true…
1. "You are the most beautiful girl in the world."
That is 100% not true. While I’ve been told before that I’m beautiful, I’m not the MOST beautiful. My sweet mama, always my cheerleader putting these “beauty Queen dreams” in my head—my mama was a beauty queen…literally—and I always felt like I’d let her down a little bit by not winning a beauty contest myself. Confidence level: about a 4. But, my three year old tells me how beautiful I am on Sunday mornings when she sees me wearing something besides workout pants and a t-shirt. And to be honest, I didn’t care to win a pageant—I always liked getting dressed up and going with my mama to pick out a dress was much more fun anyway!
2. "You can be anything you want to be."
This is also not true. My sweet mama, my biggest cheerleader, I remember vividly us sitting at the kitchen table with her DESPERATELY trying to explain fractions to me (again) and me crying hysterically, telling myself that I was stupid. My mama, my cheerleader saying “you can be anything you want to be, but stupid is not an option.” Well, mama—I’ve done some STUPID things, and on a few occasions have been called stupid. I also didn’t become a marine biologist, crime scene investigator, kindergarten teacher, nurse, or librarian like I’d wanted. Instead I became an academic counselor turned coaches wife and mama which is really all of those things wrapped up in one. I can’t tell you how many “patients” I’ve Doc McStuffin-ed my way through this week.
3. "You did your best and that’s all you can do."
That’s code for…I’m kind of disappointed that you didn’t do better, but you already feel like crap because of XYZ, but I still love you and think you’re great.” I was never a cheerleader and neither was my mama, but somehow she’s got the cheerleader encouragement down pat. There were many times I didn’t try my best, or knew I didn’t do my best, but she still loved me and encouraged me to try my best and do better the next time.
4. "You are so sweet."
I mean…I try. I REALLY try to be sweet and kind to everyone I meet, but you know as well as I do that it doesn’t always happen. When I was growing up, my mama and daddy would tell me (whenever I’d leave to go somewhere) to “be sweet.” They often still tell me that. I was also told to treat everyone how you’d want to be treated—and I truly try to live my life by that. Some days are harder than others, but Mama, I promise I’m trying to be sweet.
I pray that the little white lies that were told to me and that I tell my children every day are the only lies they’ll ever believe…You’re kind, you’re brave, you’re beautiful, you’re smart—Because what’s on the outside isn’t what counts in the long run…it’s what‘s on the inside that truly matters…my mama taught me that too.
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